From the book “Foolish Wives who builds Magnificent Homes”
The most controversial statement the biblical account of Ephesians could be found in verse 22 of chapter five, which says; “wives, submit…” But the verses before it, verse twenty-one says, “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Submissive here means entrusting yourself into a hand of love, care and nourishment. Let’s look at it in the light of a pure picture of unreserved love.
Paul’s further illustration and the responsibility he gave to husbands to love their wives, points to one lucid fact; true love is only fully expressed via submission. He later compares the submission he is taking about to that of the church to Christ? Or the love of Christ for the church? Christ is the head of the church and the church should be submissive to Christ doesn’t means the church has then lost her will to act or function.
Let’s use a present day physical illustration. Let’s say you need a thorough bath and apparently you can bathe yourself thoroughly, for sure, you can. But who will be cleaner; you who bathed yourself or another who had his/her back thoroughly scrubbed by someone else? You know the answer, the one person who had help. Think about this for a moment.
This subject of wives submit and husbands love left just one vivid romantic scene in my mind. Let’s say the wife is in a very beautiful tub totally nude. She desires to take a thorough bath that will leave her with no spot or wrinkle. And according to Apostle Paul’s recommendation, the husband who has the responsibility to love her should therefore become the hand of love that will bathe her thoroughly. If husbands and wives will only understand this knitting of love and submission that Paul called a mystery, there will be no strife in marriages.
If husbands world realize that they are the hands of love their wives need and wives understand that they need a bath, which they would get from their hands of love (husbands) via submission, the world will be much better. The washing of wives is the responsibility of husbands, which is the love your wives the text is talking about and all wives need to do is to submit, which is to surrender to the bathing of husbands. This is the mystery that will make any relationship work.
The job of the husband is to wash the submissive wife. To be thoroughly washed, submission is necessary. Imagine the husband is with the soap and water and the wife is lying down with her eyes close on the bathing tub waiting for the beloved husband to wash her thoroughly. If the wife doesn’t submit, lying down there with her eyes shut in total surrender, the fun, care and nourishment wouldn’t be complete. Men must realise that their role is to love and love is a huge responsibility.
A real man must realise that love involves cherishing, nourishing and caring for his wife like his own body. The wife is simply to have enough faith to submit, surrender completely to this hand of love. I believe it is not too much to ask wives to trust their husbands to take them to perfection. The reason why the joy of many marriages is short-lived is because women can’t shut their eyes and remain still in the bathing tub. He may not know how to treat you as a wife at first but as long as you shut your eyes against all his shortcomings he will eventually learn.
This is why the wise king Solomon said that a wise wife builds her home. With patience, learning to trust the husband to wash her cleaning. With subtle patience teaching him to love you better, guiding his hands dumbly to where you want him to wash, and demonstrating how you want him to wash you. The key is trust and subtle patience.
Statistics states that when a woman blindly submit/surrenders to her husband (in marriage there is security) that the husband after sometime will invariably becomes a worshipper, at the shrine of his wife ONLY. Ask any woman who has been a wife to one man for at least forty years, she will tell you how a very hard/difficult husband can turn soft and boyish under the spell of submission. What if he is the type that is deliberately hurting you? He will only hurt you because you allow him to.
Let’s go back to the bathing-tub. Don’t forget your eyes are shut. Your eyes are shut towards his anger/yelling, his I-am-the-man attitude, his you-must-obey-me manners, his late nights etc. It sounds like stupid, yes, that is what the society and your friends will think. But you are not a fool; you are only breaking the rock that the real little boy you are married to is hiding.
Shut your eyes to his hurts, be yourself, calm and still in the tub, then gently take his hand and guide him to where you want his hand to be. At first, he might try to resist you, keep trying. When guilt of hurting you starts to register, he will let you take the lead. And if your lead remains gentle with your eyes shut, you might end up becoming the soft silent leader.
Austin Imoru
Paul’s further illustration and the responsibility he gave to husbands to love their wives, points to one lucid fact; true love is only fully expressed via submission. He later compares the submission he is taking about to that of the church to Christ? Or the love of Christ for the church? Christ is the head of the church and the church should be submissive to Christ doesn’t means the church has then lost her will to act or function.
Let’s use a present day physical illustration. Let’s say you need a thorough bath and apparently you can bathe yourself thoroughly, for sure, you can. But who will be cleaner; you who bathed yourself or another who had his/her back thoroughly scrubbed by someone else? You know the answer, the one person who had help. Think about this for a moment.
This subject of wives submit and husbands love left just one vivid romantic scene in my mind. Let’s say the wife is in a very beautiful tub totally nude. She desires to take a thorough bath that will leave her with no spot or wrinkle. And according to Apostle Paul’s recommendation, the husband who has the responsibility to love her should therefore become the hand of love that will bathe her thoroughly. If husbands and wives will only understand this knitting of love and submission that Paul called a mystery, there will be no strife in marriages.
If husbands world realize that they are the hands of love their wives need and wives understand that they need a bath, which they would get from their hands of love (husbands) via submission, the world will be much better. The washing of wives is the responsibility of husbands, which is the love your wives the text is talking about and all wives need to do is to submit, which is to surrender to the bathing of husbands. This is the mystery that will make any relationship work.
The job of the husband is to wash the submissive wife. To be thoroughly washed, submission is necessary. Imagine the husband is with the soap and water and the wife is lying down with her eyes close on the bathing tub waiting for the beloved husband to wash her thoroughly. If the wife doesn’t submit, lying down there with her eyes shut in total surrender, the fun, care and nourishment wouldn’t be complete. Men must realise that their role is to love and love is a huge responsibility.
A real man must realise that love involves cherishing, nourishing and caring for his wife like his own body. The wife is simply to have enough faith to submit, surrender completely to this hand of love. I believe it is not too much to ask wives to trust their husbands to take them to perfection. The reason why the joy of many marriages is short-lived is because women can’t shut their eyes and remain still in the bathing tub. He may not know how to treat you as a wife at first but as long as you shut your eyes against all his shortcomings he will eventually learn.
This is why the wise king Solomon said that a wise wife builds her home. With patience, learning to trust the husband to wash her cleaning. With subtle patience teaching him to love you better, guiding his hands dumbly to where you want him to wash, and demonstrating how you want him to wash you. The key is trust and subtle patience.
Statistics states that when a woman blindly submit/surrenders to her husband (in marriage there is security) that the husband after sometime will invariably becomes a worshipper, at the shrine of his wife ONLY. Ask any woman who has been a wife to one man for at least forty years, she will tell you how a very hard/difficult husband can turn soft and boyish under the spell of submission. What if he is the type that is deliberately hurting you? He will only hurt you because you allow him to.
Let’s go back to the bathing-tub. Don’t forget your eyes are shut. Your eyes are shut towards his anger/yelling, his I-am-the-man attitude, his you-must-obey-me manners, his late nights etc. It sounds like stupid, yes, that is what the society and your friends will think. But you are not a fool; you are only breaking the rock that the real little boy you are married to is hiding.
Shut your eyes to his hurts, be yourself, calm and still in the tub, then gently take his hand and guide him to where you want his hand to be. At first, he might try to resist you, keep trying. When guilt of hurting you starts to register, he will let you take the lead. And if your lead remains gentle with your eyes shut, you might end up becoming the soft silent leader.
Austin Imoru
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